


PESTEREMBARRASS

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Pesterlog, davejohn - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-04
Updated: 2012-06-04
Packaged: 2017-11-06 18:56:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/422077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	PESTEREMBARRASS

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG], tentacleTherapist [TT] and gardenGnostic [GG] at 22:24 –-  
TT: Oh, wonderful, I've been waiting to hear about this.  
TT: How did things go with the new lovebirds on their first little meeting?  
GG: yes! please don't leave us hanging about this!!!!  
EB: it was really fun!  
TG: it would be ok if he didnt make me watch ghostbusters twice  
EB: no dave that was ghostbusters 1 and ghostbusters 2, they're different movies.  
TG: yeah my ass  
TG: its all bill murray to me  
EB: i saw you tear up at the end of 2 you big talker.  
TG: haha wow thats funny too bad it didnt happen  
TT: I believe you, John.  
EB: thank you rose!  
TG: wow why dont you guys get married  
GG: that doesnt really sound like dave though!  
TG: jade stop trying to get with me ok  
EB: dave don't be mean and jealous, it's stupid!  
TG: im not fuck you  
EB: hehe dave don't talk about that here!  
TG: what oh no  
TG: dude shut up  
TT: Wait, are we being sarcastic here?  
GG: oh my gosh!! hahahaha you guys really??  
EB: hey i don't kiss and tell!  
EB: but yes it's true.  
TG: what no  
TG: john shut the fuck up  
TT: Oh no, you'd better stop now before he gets really upset.  
TT: I can practically feel the anger seething from within his core, and that probably isn't the only red hot thing that's been inside of him recently.  
EB: hahahaha oh god stop!  
EB: i'm like one minute away from peeing my pants!  
TG: what the fuck  
TG: i hate you guys  
TG: you can all suck it  
TT: I believe that is your job.  
EB: hahaha ok dave you're setting yourself up for these!  
EB: but i'm getting a little embarrassed now.  
TG: oh my god  
TG: shut up and go pee  
EB: ok, brb.  
GG: lol!! this is the weirdest and funniest conversation weve ever had!  
TT: I agree, I like this.  
TG: yeah bet you do rose  
TG: youre all sick and jade  
TG: i thought you were on my side  
GG: i changed sides because this one is more fun!  
GG: and doesnt think i want to marry it! :P  
TG: god damn  
EB: haha ok i'm back!  
EB: you guys want to hear something else funny?  
TG: john no  
TT: Please.  
GG: yes!!!!  
EB: ok well this one is sort of embarrassing for both of us but it's worth it!  
TG: john shut up  
GG: sh! let him tell the story dave this one sounds funny!  
TG: i should have a fucking say in this  
TG: john shut the fuck up  
EB: well he was all hot and bothered and i was like, "i wonder how far he will go for me to help him out with this."  
TG: john shut up now  
EB: i think i might have broke him or something because after a little while he was all like "oh please john!!" all the sudden!  
TG: no stop  
TG: hes lying  
EB: he was like "john please i need this so badly" and i was like "whoa!" but i felt bad so of course i helped him with it but it was so funny up until that point.  
EB: he's usually all like stupid about it but then i remembered he just is a liar and is really soft on the inside!  
TT: Are all these puns intentional?  
EB: oh god haha.  
EB: you know they aren't!  
GG: hahahahaha!! oh wow dave is that true?  
TG: how about we stop  
TT: I can't even imagine how much he's suffering right now from this.  
TT: He's still in denial, and that's even more embarrassing.  
GG: i feel a little embarrassed for him right now too!!  
EB: me too, but more for myself because this is still weird to talk about.  
TG: yeah so why dont you fucking stop  
EB: uh, dave are you really angry with me?  
TG: what the fuck do you think  
EB: oh man, you totally are.  
EB: come on dude it's just rose and jade they don't care how you were our first time.  
EB: even if you were pretty needy!  
TG: shut up im not needy youre needy  
TG: how about i tell some fuckin stories of my own  
EB: oh boy let's not go there!  
TG: youre acting all high and mighty right  
TG: you guys wouldnt believe this guy when he bottoms  
TG: aka 99% of the time  
TG: its embarrassing  
EB: whoa dave we get it!  
TT: Oh, this is just getting better and better.  
GG: whoa oh my gosh haha!!  
EB: dave!  
TG: yeah so back to what i was saying  
TG: he is so vocal in bed i cant even describe it  
TT: Go ahead and try, I'm interested in this.  
TG: oh dave  
TG: dave yes please  
TG: dave right there ooohhhhhh  
TG: fuck me dave ooohhh yeahhhh  
TG: fuck my hot butt  
EB: dave!!!!  
TG: yeah hes even doing it now see  
EB: i never said that last part!  
TG: yes you did  
EB: shut up.  
TT: Oh, dear. I'm feeling some discomfort from both sides of the relationship right now.  
GG: why dont you both settle it in bed! haha!! :P  
TG: good idea  
TG: hey john  
EB: what?  
TG: im getting back in the car right now  
TG: be ready to say that last stuff babe  
EB: what??  
EB: dave no not right now my dad is sleeping!!  
TG: i am going to fuck you so hard  
TG: i am going to fuck you until youre screaming my name at the top of your lungs and you leave scratches all up and down my back  
TG: im going to fuck you until you cum enough to fill a bucket and then im going to fuck you some more  
TG: how does that sound john does that sound funny to you  
TG: lets see if that makes you laugh  
TG: and no im not kidding  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB], tentacleTherapist[TT], and gardenGnostic[GG] at 22:24 –-  
EB: oh my god.  
EB: do you guys think he's serious?  
GG: uh wow i dont know for sure but he did sound pretty serious!  
TT: I think he was totally serious.  
TT: To be fair, you deserve it.  
TT: But to be fair once again, it was too entertaining to be regrettable.  
EB: oh gosh he said he was leaving right now right?  
TT: Right.  
GG: lol! yes he did john i would get ready if i were you!  
EB: oh man, ok.  
EB: brb probably.  
TT: Most likely not.  
GG: dont hurry back! ;D  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] and gardenGnostic [GG] at 22:39 –-


End file.
